Tag Archives: Yarrawonga

Marriage and Stuff

I’ve been studying to become a Marriage Celebrant.

Recently I was asked “Why the hell would you want to do that?”

Bloody good question really.

Bridezillas, mother of the Bride(zillas), blended family moments were all coming to this friends mind. She was thinking that it would be horrid to have to deal with. Well that’s what I took from it. But I believe in the goodness of humanity and those “horrid” people only become horrid when stuff goes bad.

You see it’s a funny thing really. As a small girl I suppose I did think a handsome prince would ride up on his trusty steed and sweep me off to his kingdom far, far away. Far away from my family home and having to watch my parents marriage failing. (Thanks Disney).

And there’s the thing. I did watch my parents marriage end and after watching it I vowed and declared that marriage was not for me. I am never having kids. I dug my heals in and said that living together is just the same as marriage and that would be good enough for me.

In my twenties I got engaged. We were in love. We lived together. We were young. We had different ideals. Eventually that relationship ran it’s course and I thank the universe we never got married and had kids. With the wisdom of hindsight, I can look back and see that if I really did want to get married, I would have done something about setting the date and organising the party. Parties are my thing. It’s what I do well.

In my thirties I hooked up with my husband. I can’t say met, because we met many years earlier as we lived in the same small town. We had always known each other and had mutual friends. We were friends. We had even kissed after a party when I was 15 and he was 17.

We used to party and party hard. When we got home after closing we would crank up the music and continue dancing until the wee hours of the morning. A dear friend said to me how he was romancing me. I scoffed. She was right. He rode up on his trusty steed <insert dream sequence here>, OK, reality check. He walked me home with his bike, ready to return to his place.

I moved in pretty quickly, a) because I was in love, b) because the rent was cheap, and c) because I was living with my mum and her partner. I was still in business then, so I wasn’t home that much.

A couple of years later I was working at the club. The business had folded by then, but I still spent a lot of hours at work, and all nights. Dear Husband was out in the main lounge having some drinks with my aunt and her friend. I went out of the dining area into the casino lounge for my smoke break (oh how times have changed!) and he said to me, “We have just decided on the date for our wedding”. A bit weird, as I was not involved in the conversation, but lovely that that was what was being discussed. We had never done the proposal thing properly or anything.

So that night when I got home, to the house we had built together, he proposed. Sort of. Pissed, but he meant it. He wanted to live with me until he was ninety (I pretend to count down to that time), and he wanted to be married. His mum and dad still are married, his views were a bit different from mine.

Months later I was shopping and found a ring for him to buy me. As you can see, none of this process is the traditional fairy tale. I made him pay for it, even though we already had shared accounts and a home together. The following year we got married.

So why and I writing this? What changed? You are probably saying FFS, get to the point.

We changed. We changed for the better. We are now a married couple. When I talk about him I call him my husband.  When he talks about me he calls me his wife. It is different. It is a commitment for life (or at least until he turns 90, wink). We fell pregnant immediately and welcomed GC8 into our world 40 weeks later.

We will be married 10 years in November and we have had our share of shit to deal with. But we have done just that. I don’t like him every second of every day, but I do love him. Standing with our friends and making that commitment changed us in a good way. Unlike my first “engagement” I can’t just walk out on him. There is heaps of legal stuff (and two little people) standing in our way now. That legal stuff is what the same sex couples are striving for when they talk of marriage equality.

We stood before our nearest and dearest and we vowed to stand by each other forever.

So to you my friend who wanted to know Why?

I wish to be the person who performs the ceremony to cement the relationship. I wish to share the joy of making the commitment to one another. I wish to share the love with you and your loved ones. I will help write vows and find the words you are looking for. I wish for a lifetime of happiness.

 

 

Motivate. Weight. xlr8.

So it’s been 14 months since I sat here and wrote I Choose to Lose. And guess what?

I failed!

I really didn’t choose to lose at all. All I did was write it down and hope that by doing so, I would start watching my food intake and exercise more, and miraculously my clothes would start fitting better, and even might even begin to get too big.

Well those big clothes I bought are getting smaller, and I have in fact gained another 4 kg since writing that blog post.

It’s no secret that reducing the carbs in your diet will help you to lose weight, but what I am learning at the moment is some of us need help to understand how many hidden carbs are in our food, and what we consider healthy, might in fact be healthy, but while trying to lose weight should be avoided.

Point in fact. I bought “low-carb” cider as a summer alternative to my usual drink of choice red wine. Well that was dumb. The cider has 13.1 gm of carbs per stubby. I was better off on the wine. My other drink of choice is scotch and soda, an almost carb free alternative. So, given I had a broken toe, laid about on the outdoor furniture drinking cider all summer, I am feeling the pressure on my waist bands.

So when I saw this clip on the news a couple of weeks back, I decided to have a look into Rae’s product and see if I should in fact give it a go. After all, she is from Wangaratta, not far away from Yarrawonga, and she knows someone I know (good old country life).

Unlike Rae, I have not battled with my weight for years. It has only been since having kids, turning 40, changing hospitality to desk work and stopping smoking that I have slowly, but surely been banking the kilos.

In 2013-14 I tried another product, this was the first time in my life I had seriously made a decision to diet and I did in fact lose weight. It worked as an appetite suppressant and I basically halved my meals and made sure I had a Tupperware container of almonds on me as my staple snack.  I took one drink in the morning, kept my water up and found it reasonably easy to do. But, I didn’t believe I should need to continue taking a supplement for the rest of my life to maintain my weight, so I went off it, and back out on my own.

What that product didn’t teach me was that I need to change the way I eat and drink to maintain this weight. In fact, I barely changed what I ate at all, I just ate less. When my appetite came back, so did my habits.

So I got on the xlr8 website and started exploring. One of the things I was really happy to hear was that Rae isn’t trying to sell us a product that we will be on forever, but rather, a product that will assist with cravings and block hunger while we retrain ourselves to eat for a healthy life. I also private messaged our mutual friend and asked her how her journey was going. She was loving it, and being a red wine lover like myself, I believed her.

So, Sunday, I ordered the xlr8. Since then I have been checking carbs using the super user friendly free app, and without even starting on the product, I’ve already lost 1 kg in 4 days.

This favourite skirt of mine is beginning to get tight around the waist, so it is going to be my measuring stick for the next few months.

This time I’ve got it.

I choose to lose!

Who’s Livin’ in the 70s?

Judgement warning!

We live in a fantastic tourist destination called Yarrawonga. Together with it’s twin town Mulwala our population swells at Christmas and Easter and every other long weekend Australia has to offer. When the town is full we locals are required to deal with traffic. We have two sets of traffic lights in town. One to allow pedestrians to cross the road in the main street, the other to regulate a single carriageway over our weir bridge.

The Weir Bridge between Yarrawonga and Mulwala at capacity in October 2016

The Weir Bridge between Yarrawonga and Mulwala at capacity in October 2016

It means we have lots of time to watch people driving past while the whole main street is almost at a standstill. I usually shop early or late to avoid this, but not this time.

So, here I am, sitting in traffic. I notice a lady in her car smoking with her window down. I notice because I am still a little bit envious of people who can still smoke in their cars, in fact I am envious of people who smoke (old habits die hard). Then I notice a dog jumping around in the back seat. BUT then I notice a girl in the  front seat. She can’t be much older than my daughter (8), and she is eating some sort of take away food.

Fucking Hell Lady!! What are you thinking? Is that your kid you are slowly killing? If I asked you to slowly poison your dog, would you participate in the experiment? Do you think it is 1979 when my parents would simultaneously start the ignition and light a fag before we drove anywhere?

It has been illegal to smoke with a minor in the car with a minor since 2010,. It is also very bad manners to smoke while someone is eating. Even when I was not ashamed to smoke in public I would never smoke in the presence of anyone who was eating, let alone my kid who relies on me to keep them safe and preserve their life.

Now I am all about being a queen and preserving the sisterhood by not judging, but sorry, in this case I cannot help it.

Not good enough Queeny, not good enough!