Tag Archives: work life balance

An Outfit for Every Occassion

Fun in the SunI laughed my arse off when Miss 8 asked her father for a wrestle in the backyard. Not because she asked, nope, this is a very regular occurrence at our place. I laughed because he told her to go and put her wrestling gear on.

“What wrestling gear?” I asked, “is it because she has a skirt on?” At this point I am thinking shit like how weird, what a prude not to let her wrestle in a skirt or in her undies if that takes her fancy, you prick for contributing to the washing pile without contributing to the actual act of doing the washing. It’s too fucking hot for clothes…

His reply “No, nothing to do with a skirt, just delays it for another 5 minutes”.

Most probably had to make sure his allies were all in the right place before he could leave his Game of War for the 15 minutes that he will hold their attention. Gotta get the work/life/app balance right after all.

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reflection-of-sadness-and-happinessThis post was written back in February. I couldn’t publish it then as I wasn’t in the right place to share. 

I am fantastic at the brave face. Those who have ever suffered with depression and/or anxiety know the one. The one where the smile is firmly planted, but the heart feels like a huge chunk of lead, pulling down shoulders. Those I love will cop an angry glance, a cross word or an all out fucking tirade.

I have various ‘excuses’ for my behaviour, which range from (several) family illnesses, breakdowns in said family communication, fear of not being ‘good enough’- (not quite sure what I need to be good enough for as I am AWESOME) and lack of sleep caused by a combination of over thinking, not getting to bed on time and horrible night sweats.

I came home from yoga this morning thinking woohoo it’s going to be a great day.Within an hour I am losing my shit because no one ever fucking listens. Miss 7 is in tears because she doesn’t want to do her reader that should have been done last night. Master 4 is rubbing her nose in the fact that she has to go to school, but as a preppy, he gets Wednesdays off for a while. Hubby cares that the whole neighbourhood can hear me. I don’t give a fat rat’s arse.

I hate angry me. I don’t want to be angry me. I keep trying to turn it around by telling myself that I cannot change the circumstances, only how I deal with them. Then I fuck it all up again.

I am not setting out to be off my head always happy, that isn’t realistic. I just don’t wish to be the lunatic who loses her shit to be heard by those closest to me.

Ironic, isn’t it, that the same people who push our buttons are the one’s who give us a reason for living. The same beings who will always be there for us no matter what. The people who make us happy and sad, the one’s who’s failures and triumphs give us as much grief or joy as if they were our own.

8 months on….

Lots of meditation, some different pills, ignoring other peoples issues and a life changing decision to change my work life balance. I am feeling better. My now 8 year old has even noticed that I am not yelling. I feel like there are new beginnings in the air.

I just need to work out which path to walk next.

 

 

 

 

 

Juggling – work, kids and life in general.

Today I was going to write about how difficult it is to juggle the wonderful world of parenthood, worker, social media addict, student and wife. Everything I started to write sounded whiney and sniffley, ‘oh poor me! I have it so tough! I don’t deserve to have to live like this!’ a voice inside my head said ‘get over it, eat some concrete and harden up, you chose this life!’

The truth is, I did choose this life. Whether consciously or subconsciously, this is the path I took when I came to the forks in the road I have been travelling, and I am proud of where I am, who I’ve become, and who I am going to be.

So lets take stock.

  • I have a happy and secure marriage
  • I have two gorgeous children
  • I have a brand new home
  • I have a secure job
  • I have the opportunity to continue to study
  • I have a loving and supportive family network who are always there for me
  • I have my health

Now how about the juggling?

Well…because of my happy and secure marriage I have two gorgeous children and a brand new home. My loving and supportive family care for my two gorgeous children while I go off to my secure job and continue to study. My health allows me to maintain my happy and secure marriage, my two gorgeous children, my brand new home, my secure job, continue to study and to be there in return for my loving and supportive family network.

So you can see, when I put everything back into perspective, juggling isn’t really that hard after all. Just toss one ball upat a time and catch the one that is falling, occasionally one of the balls will fall to the ground, just pick it up again and toss it back into the air, and make sure you catch any new balls life throws you, it might be a different colour to the ones you are used to, but personally I would prefer a colourful life any day.