As much as I was happy to never ever have another period. I have found yet another piss off factor when it comes to menapause.
So far I have been told to just accept I’m overweight, cos that shit happens. You can’t do much about hot flushes. This is not true, my acupuncture and Chinese medicine has that under control. You might remember me writing about that in Madly Menopausal Mum. I work really hard on daily meditation and mindfulness so as I am not a fucking screaming lunatic with the potential of becoming an axe murderer. Visits to a clinical psycologist also keeps me grounded.
But now I have been told I have high cholesterol. Like always, I have taken to google to find out what the fuck that means for me as the doctor hasn’t got time to explain that shit. The first thing that struck me is how all the images of menopausal women are of ladies much older than I. Not sexy rock star young chicks like myelf. The next thing that struck me was…
Few women know that there is a direct link between cholesterol and menopause.
This is life threatening stuff. Given I have family history of heart disease I wish someone had told me this a couple of years ago. You can Read more here.
As usual I’m trying to find the silver lining in this dark cloud. So here it is. I am going to live on water and lettuce leaves. The lettuce will make me skinny. I will then get buy new clothes as I threw all the others out when I was told to accept being chubby.
Just joking. Red wine, dark chocolate and small handfulls of nuts are also on the menu. I suppose I will survive to see my kids grow up. That is as long as I remember my mindfulness and don’t become that axe murderer.
This year I’ve been a stay at home mum for the entire summer break. We have gone to bed late, got out of bed late and eaten whenever we were hungry. Even though we have had an awesome summer, I was very excited yesterday to drop my kids at school for their first day in 2017.
GC8 is beginning grade 3 and BC5 is beginning grade 1. They were both a little concerned the night before about where they had to line up in the morning but both of them did as they should ate breaky, left me at the gate with a kiss and a wave and went about their day.
I read a lot of comments on social media about how people hate school lunches and routine. I don’t hate either. I kind of try not to be a hater. I thought we had nailed that first day, and we were going to slip back into routine as naturally as a fish swims in the water.
But, parenting wouldn’t be parenting without a couple of fails…
- I put butter in CG8’s sandwich. Did I know I wasn’t supposed to? No, nope, narda, not at all. I copped some eye rolling about how dumb that was after school.
- I wouldn’t let her take a pencil case the first day, waiting to see what the teacher required. WELL….pencil cases are allowed, we don’t have shared cups of pencils any more, I’m in grade 3 you know.
- I hadn’t ironed the new school uniform and made her wear last years. She got it dirty. I swear she just got it dirty to spite me and make me iron the other one (I try not to hate, but I hate ironing).
But it wasn’t all bad. BC5 had a brilliant day. He has been running his own competition over the holidays called Child of the Day. Each evening I have to pronounce which one of them has been a better kid. He is still trying for that so…
- He ate every bit of his lunch, and loves butter, and I can do no wrong.
- He has shared pencils, just like last year, and it will all be good.
- He also came home dirty, but as he is a Boy Child, I am quite used to only getting one wear out of his t-shirt.
This morning is day 2 and we are back into routine.
- The children are not listening and wont eat their fucking (cooked) breakfast.
- The dress wasn’t ironed last night because the ironing fairies forgot to come as they were drinking red wine and eating gourmet dinner.
- I nearly put butter in the cucumber sandwich…again!
- When told to get dressed while I iron the stupid dress, they are busy looking for a particular Pokemon rubber off a pencil that wasn’t packed in the pencil case last night. It has to match the pencil, it can’t just be any kind. They are hanging out naked when I emerge with ironed dress.
- I start screaming for them to forget the fucking pencil, put on shoes, brush teeth and get in the fucking car in order to alert the neighbours that everything is back to normal.
- We almost forget drink bottles as they were getting filled when the dress crisis occurred, and I haven’t screwed on lids yet.
- As we drive to school GC8 tells me she hates me and I respond in kind.
Isn’t it wonderful to know that we have our routine down pat after only two days?