Tag Archives: Etiquette

Are you being served? 6 ways to help me serve you better.

When I go to work as your server, I like to think I know my job. As a matter of fact, I do know my job. I also have good manners and etiquette.  Unfortunately for professional wait staff the world over, some employers are more than happy to employ staff with little to no experience for shitty wages, and then forget to train them to be awesome, thus giving our profession a bad wrap at times.

As I recently pointed out in my post 6 ways to keep me happy if you are my wait person, this could be because customers don’t care about good service or they have just accepted it will not happen. Well I would like to say that I do care about good service and have much pride in providing it if I was your server.

Today I am going to give it to you straight from my perspective as your server…

What pisses me off?

  1. Not listening. I have seated you, introduced myself, provided you with menus (both food and drink), explained the daily specials and of the days, where to read about them on the various blackboards located around the room and offered you a drink. I return with water and the drinks you have ordered and you ask me what the fish of the day is. Because I am a professional, I smile at you and tell you again, you then order the steak.
  2. Lack of etiquette. Your side plate is on your left. Your glass is on your right. Your napkin is for wiping your mouth, not your snotty nose. Because I am professional, and you pay my wages, I will not  ask if your mother would be proud of the way she brought you up. I smile and get your friend a clean side plate or glass.
  3. Taking drinks off my tray. Just don’t do it. Please. My little fingers are buckled under that tray acting like shock absorbers. When I take a glass off the tray, my brain knows how to adjust the weight. When you take a glass from the tray, all the glasses topple over and I spill drinks everywhere and look like a clutz. Because I am professional, I smile. I refrain from throwing the leftover drinks at your white shirt, and I clean up the mess and write of the spillage.
  4. Tilting your glass when I pour your beer. Because I am professional, I know how to pour a beer at the table. No need to help. In fact when you do help I fuck it up. But don’t despair, my smile is there. I will let you ‘fix’ my mistake by taking over, and you will miss out on the awesomeness which is my service.
  5. Piling up plates to help. Sorry helpers, this does not help. You see, we professionals know how to carry plates, deliver plates and clear plates. clearing platesWe do it one at a  time and we do it easily.  When you pile those suckers up, you make them too heavy to lift off the table with one hand. You stack the cutlery randomly and it gives me the shits. Because I am professional, I smile, I move past your pile of plates and continue to clear the table. I then make an extra trip back from the kitchen to use my two hands to pick them up.
  6. Treating me like shit. Hi there. I am a human. I chose a career in hospitality. I love the industry. I am not a servant in a classist society. I choose to give you awesome service as a means of making money. Working in the hospitality industry is so much fun most of the time. I don’t need some dick wad to treat me like shit and fuck up my mood. Because I am professional, I will ignore the way you looked down your nose at me and used simple language. I will refrain from becoming so pissed off with you that I ‘accidentally’ spill soup in your lap. But most of all I will smile.

I will keep the smile on my dial. At least until I get through the kitchen doors.

Happy dining.









Are you being served? 6 ways to keep me happy if you are my wait person.

When I go out and pay others to cook for me and others to wait on me I expect, at a minimum, the kind of table service which reflects good table manners.

It seems of late that people either don’t care about good service or have just accepted it will not happen. Well I would like to say that I do care about good service and have much pride in providing it if I was your server.

So, I expect you are waiting for it….

What pisses me off?

  1. Not talking to me. At the very least when I enter a premises I would like to be acknowledged. Eye contact and a nod of the head will do. Just please don’t pretend I am not there. I am. I have cash. I will spend it. I will bring friends if you are nice. I pay some of your wages which equals your bills.
  2. Talking to me, but not asking me if you can help. You have walked to the table. It is a place of table service. You drop a menu in front of me. I know I would like a drink, I love drinks, but you have gone before I can order one. The more drinks I drink, the better equipped you will be to pay your bills.
  3. Serving our table one plate at a time. The art of sending all meals out together is taught to chefs and wait staff universal. The food is prepared so as it all comes out together. If it cannot be all served together, apologise to the customer and explain. Good table manners prevents me from starting my meal until all food has arrived. If my food has gone cold I will not enjoy it. If I enjoy the meal and the service is awesome. I tip. This will help you pay your bills.
  4. Removing an empty glass without asking whether I would like another drink. Perhaps I should remind you. I LOVE DRINKS. I might only need more water, regardless, please offer me more. The more drinks I have the more generous I become. This could lead to a bigger tip. You might be able to pay some bigger bills.
  5. Clearing our plates before everyone at the table has finished. My blood is boiling just thinking about this one.
    How a knife and fork look when you have finished your meal

    How a knife and fork look when you have finished your meal

    Do not clear our plates until the last morsel has been devoured. I mean it, the last morsel of food. Don’t guess this. If you are uncertain as to whether the customer is finished, ask them. Those of us who were taught manners will have our knife and fork placed together in the centre of the plate to indicate that we have finished. If you follow this common courtesy I will return to your establishment and bring more friends, spend more money and help you to pay your bills.

  6. Avoiding bringing the bill. We have eaten. There is nothing left for you to sell us and yet you have disappeared without a trace or are avoiding eye contact again. We require the bill so we can pay you. You guessed it. If we pay our bills you can pay yours.

These six are just the tip of the iceberg. Underneath lies a range of other crappy practices which has turned dining out into eating somewhere. Don’t even get me started on the customers who don’t know which side plate is theirs, whose glass is whose and who pile up their plates in order to help the server. Those topics are for another day when I look at this from the server’s perspective.