Category Archives: yoga

I Choose to Lose.

For many years I have let New Years Eve come and go without the resolutions. Why? Drunk people make stupid choices.

But as 2015 came around I decided that I should become a non smoker. It kind of worked. I am not perfect, and wont pretend I have not cheated. But it backfired on me and I gained a kilo a month shoving other things in my gob instead of the fags and before your dirty mind turns to the gutter, I would have been better off doing what you are thinking and my hubby would be super happy.

The mirror reflection is the truth.

The mirror reflection is the truth.

Now it is 2016, 8 days in. I have chosen to become even more healthy and shed those nasty kilos the hypnotist toldme I would not put on (liar, liar pants on fire).

I hear all the talk about fat shaming and embracing your body and I dig what you are all saying.

I don’t hate my body. I am a sexy hot lady. It would be awesome if the mirror and photos reflected this image.

There are 5 things I am struggling with.

1-My thighs rub together. Not the way that they did when I wore cords in the eighties, groovily swooshing out the sound of my footsteps. Those fuckers are so fat they stick together on a hot day and almost trip me over.

2-I struggle to wipe my own arse. Thank the heavens I do yoga so I can stretch and reach and get that job

3-My boobs are trying to escape from my shirts. I mean seriously. Getting the girls out is nothing new to me, but I used to have to undo the buttons for them, now they seem to have found a secret tunnel to freedom.

4-I cant see under my belly. My 7 year old daughter is now in charge of telling me when I have stray hair that needs to go.

5-They actually told me I am a bit fat!!! I have my kids very well trained. If I say something like “silly old mum” they instantly tell me “You’re not old Mum”. They used to follow it up with “You’re not fat”, but more recently I got a sheepish sideways head tilt, with “You’re a little bit fat”. Kids don’t worry about hurting feelings. What they say is true.

I am still deciding on the best plan of attack as to how I am going to get rid of the blubber. I have considered stapling my lips together, developing a drug addiction or returning to the hospitality industry (for those who don’t know, in hospitality exercise is constant and the sight of food becomes repulsive at times).

For now I think I will take the easy way out and try auto-suggestion. “I think I am fit and thinner, therefore I am”. When the kids go back to school I will get tougher on myself. I promise. Did you hear that me? Yeah right, what’s for lunch?



yogaTonight, as I lay on my mat for meditation at the conclusion of class, Jacqui, our instructor, asked us to reflect on the past nine weeks. How we feel, what we have learned and what we have achieved not only this term, but since we began practising yoga.

Tonight, as I lay on my mat, remember how I always thought yoga would be for me. I liked the idea of meditation, of the stretching, of the calm feeling that yoga would bring. But I didn’t take it up until I was over 40, hospitality hours are never good when commiting to activities.

Tonight, as I lay on my mat I realise I have changed.  I reflect, not only back over the past 18 or so months of going to yoga, but the past few years I had a couple of revelations.

Tonight, as I lay on my mat I can say, I don’t smoke. When I first enrolled, I was asked, what is your purpose of doing yoga? I hoped to stop smoking and not kill my children in the process. I am only ten weeks into the not smoking, but I was hypnotised to assist me to stop. I am positive the yoga breathing aided the hypnosis. I used to choke on the incense in class. I had a cough which lasted all winter.

Tonight,as I lay on my mat, I can hear how different my lungs sound (or don’t sound).

Tonight, as I lay on my mat I understand yoga has become a part of my life. I honour my body and my mind.

Tonight, as I lay on my mat, my  children are alive and well, and I am Me.