Parenting 101 – Confession Time

When this popped up in my newsfeed recently I laughed out loud, snorted my coffee and looked around for someone to share with.

Obviously I am mum #2.

I try Really hard to be mum #1, but nope, I told you so is definately on my play list.

Let’s recall one of these situations.

Me to GC8 who was then about 4 or 5.

Me: don’t jump on the couch

Jumps on couch

Me: I mean it, stop jumping on the couch.

Jumps on couch

Me: I’m trying to get some work done, will you PLEASE stop jumping on the couch?

Jumps on couch

Me: FFS will you stop jumping on the fucking couch?!?!!?

Jumps on couch

Couch cushion dislodges

Small girl takes a spectacular crash, arms and legs in all directions, smashes her lip on the way down

Blood

Tears

Me: Sucked in

Dear Husband: poor love, come on we’ll get you a washer and clean off that blood

DH Throws death look at me which armies should patent, he could kill many men with his death look.

At some point I supppose I should get off my arse and see if she’s ok.

Go to bathroom. Lots of blood. Discussion about whether it warrants medical attention. We decide due to many factors – after hours, living in rural area, nearest emergency being 50km away, I had wine in system and cannot drive, DH hates driving…bleeding subsides, it’s not that bad, she’ll be right.

DH: Would you like an icy pole?

GC: Yes please Dad (through snot and tears and red face)

Crisis over!

GC still has very small scar on lip as a reminder that I need to work on my parenting skills.

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