Monthly Archives: May 2017

The Magic of Coffee and Motherhood

I was having a coffee in bed, reading a book when BC6 came in for a cuddle and asked why I wasn’t using my mug he got me for Mothers Day. 

Dread

Because it was dirty from me eating berries out of it last night (and my usual mug is almost twice the size).

Phew. Truth in the answer.

But the next day it was clean, and I knew I had to start the day with my new favourite mug.

Being Mum in a Million is hard work, and a lot of thought went into my gifts, so I’m going to enjoy two cups every day out of this mug until he stops noticing I’m drinking out of it, I get used to it or it breaks.

Through the Magic of Coffee I do look a lot better before going out and facing the world.

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Parenting 101 – Confession Time

When this popped up in my newsfeed recently I laughed out loud, snorted my coffee and looked around for someone to share with.

Obviously I am mum #2.

I try Really hard to be mum #1, but nope, I told you so is definately on my play list.

Let’s recall one of these situations.

Me to GC8 who was then about 4 or 5.

Me: don’t jump on the couch

Jumps on couch

Me: I mean it, stop jumping on the couch.

Jumps on couch

Me: I’m trying to get some work done, will you PLEASE stop jumping on the couch?

Jumps on couch

Me: FFS will you stop jumping on the fucking couch?!?!!?

Jumps on couch

Couch cushion dislodges

Small girl takes a spectacular crash, arms and legs in all directions, smashes her lip on the way down

Blood

Tears

Me: Sucked in

Dear Husband: poor love, come on we’ll get you a washer and clean off that blood

DH Throws death look at me which armies should patent, he could kill many men with his death look.

At some point I supppose I should get off my arse and see if she’s ok.

Go to bathroom. Lots of blood. Discussion about whether it warrants medical attention. We decide due to many factors – after hours, living in rural area, nearest emergency being 50km away, I had wine in system and cannot drive, DH hates driving…bleeding subsides, it’s not that bad, she’ll be right.

DH: Would you like an icy pole?

GC: Yes please Dad (through snot and tears and red face)

Crisis over!

GC still has very small scar on lip as a reminder that I need to work on my parenting skills.

The Shameful Sheep- A Response

I don’t know about anyone else, but I love reading a good blog. One of my favourites is the Shameful Sheep. I like her because, well she is shameful, and I like sheep, and she just rambles about random shit which sometimes makes me laugh. When people can’t remember my name I suggest that they use word association.

Shauna Sheep. Now it’s easy to remember, right?

I have just read her post, i want to murder you with love.

In this post she has replied to another blogger who has posted some questions, and in response has posted some new questions. Here are my answers.

If you could recommend ONE show right now, what would it be?

Who in hell has time for TV? Last time I sat down and watched a full series of anything it took me a year. My kids don’t sleep and if they do, I am that knackered at the end of the day I fall into a coma. The last series I was addicted to was Sex in the City, I just googled that and it ended in 2004. Where did that time go?
Would you rather spend the rest of your life with giant testicles on your chin, or having hooves instead of hands?

Testicles. I’ll need my hands to scratch them.
If you could choose any celebrity to hit the sheets with, who would it be?

Bold question Shameful. But it would have to be Brad Pitt. I am still stuck on his Thelma and Louise character though, because like TV, I don’ find much time for Movies with above a PG rating these days.
Who’s your favourite blogger around these parts? (Besides me, obviously!) 

Your parts are no where near my parts (which is why I put a u in favourite where you previously did not), but here in the land of Oz I have fondness for Hoorah for Gin, Constance Hall and Far Kew. Shannon Kelly of Shannon’s Kitchen the queen of making decent food sound like it is doing good shit for us whilst maintaining some reality of life is another fave. Look those chicks up. You might learn something new.