I Choose to Lose.

For many years I have let New Years Eve come and go without the resolutions. Why? Drunk people make stupid choices.

But as 2015 came around I decided that I should become a non smoker. It kind of worked. I am not perfect, and wont pretend I have not cheated. But it backfired on me and I gained a kilo a month shoving other things in my gob instead of the fags and before your dirty mind turns to the gutter, I would have been better off doing what you are thinking and my hubby would be super happy.

The mirror reflection is the truth.

The mirror reflection is the truth.

Now it is 2016, 8 days in. I have chosen to become even more healthy and shed those nasty kilos the hypnotist toldme I would not put on (liar, liar pants on fire).

I hear all the talk about fat shaming and embracing your body and I dig what you are all saying.

I don’t hate my body. I am a sexy hot lady. It would be awesome if the mirror and photos reflected this image.

There are 5 things I am struggling with.

1-My thighs rub together. Not the way that they did when I wore cords in the eighties, groovily swooshing out the sound of my footsteps. Those fuckers are so fat they stick together on a hot day and almost trip me over.

2-I struggle to wipe my own arse. Thank the heavens I do yoga so I can stretch and reach and get that job done.yoga

3-My boobs are trying to escape from my shirts. I mean seriously. Getting the girls out is nothing new to me, but I used to have to undo the buttons for them, now they seem to have found a secret tunnel to freedom.

4-I cant see under my belly. My 7 year old daughter is now in charge of telling me when I have stray hair that needs to go.

5-They actually told me I am a bit fat!!! I have my kids very well trained. If I say something like “silly old mum” they instantly tell me “You’re not old Mum”. They used to follow it up with “You’re not fat”, but more recently I got a sheepish sideways head tilt, with “You’re a little bit fat”. Kids don’t worry about hurting feelings. What they say is true.

I am still deciding on the best plan of attack as to how I am going to get rid of the blubber. I have considered stapling my lips together, developing a drug addiction or returning to the hospitality industry (for those who don’t know, in hospitality exercise is constant and the sight of food becomes repulsive at times).

For now I think I will take the easy way out and try auto-suggestion. “I think I am fit and thinner, therefore I am”. When the kids go back to school I will get tougher on myself. I promise. Did you hear that me? Yeah right, what’s for lunch?

 

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3 thoughts on “I Choose to Lose.

  1. Jessica

    Your style is unique in comparison to other folks I have read stuff from.
    Many thanks for posting when you’ve got the opportunity, Guess I will just bookmark this site.

    Like

    Reply
  2. Pingback: Motivate. Weight. xlr8. | HospitalityTrainerMum

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