All I want for Mothers Day…

With Mothers Day looming the mail box is filling up with catalogues from every retailer imaginable. they all suggest gifts which are ‘perfect for Mum’ and promise to ‘spoil Mum this Mothers Day’.

Well I am not sure about any of the other mothers out there, but I have a few rules when it comes to gifts.

Rule #1 if it has a three point plug attached, don’t buy it for me. I mean really, a gift is supposed to be personal, is a kitchen appliance going to make me a better cook so I can be a better mother? Is this what Mothers Day is all about?

Rule #2 if you are going to buy perfume, buy the same one which is all but used up in the cupboard. The fact that it is used means I like it. The reason all those other bottles are still there almost full is because they do not suit me.

Rule #3 Pyjamas and slippers are very useful for hospital stays. Seeing as I have produced a perfect pigeon pair of children, I do not intend to have another hospital stay any time in the foreseeable future, so wait until I need them in case my size changes.

Rule #4 Taking me out to lunch after 20+ years as a hospitality worker does not appeal to me. Not only do I not want to battle the hoards of others doing the same thing, but I do not wish to have the menu dictated to me in the form of a special deal for Mothers Day. This will also undoubtably result in me still going home and cooking everyone dinner, therefore making it a Mothers Few Hours rather than Mothers Day.

My ideal gift would be to be sent to a Motel for a night, just me, a bottle of red, a block of dark, some form of room service dinner (a delivered pizza will do), and a really good book. My husband actually thinks I am joking each time I tell him of my Mothers Day Fantasy. He tell’s me it’s not about me, it’s about the kids. Well why call it Mothers Day?

Now you might be thinking at this point how ungrateful and nasty (bitch!) I am being, but this is my fourth Mothers Day and finally I think I am going to get something I truly will love.

You see my girl is now at pre school, and the most beautiful gift any mum can ask for is something which is created with love. I anticipate I shall be receiving some gorgeous piece of artwork, created just for me, and the love will jump out and slap me in the face (for being such a bitch!)

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